When Scolding Hurts More Than It Helps

Kids don’t misbehave to trouble you — they act out to express what their little hearts can’t say in words. Every tear, tantrum, and stubborn “no” is their way of asking to be understood. Their behaviour is not meant to challenge you — it often comes from their confusion, fear, or a simple need for love and care.

But often, instead of listening, we react. We scold, punish, or embarrass them — thinking it will teach them discipline. What it really teaches is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of losing your approval, and fear of expressing their true feelings. And slowly, without even realising, our ego builds a wall between us and them.

That wall doesn’t appear overnight. It starts in childhood and grows silently with every harsh word, every comparison, and every time we choose pride over patience. The hurt caused in the early years often shows clearly during adolescence — when communication fades, arguments rise, and the once-chirpy child becomes quiet and distant.

Teenagers especially crave understanding more than advice. They are already fighting their own inner battles — trying to fit in, to be accepted, to be enough. When they sense judgment instead of empathy, they retreat further into their shells. By then, rebuilding trust takes time, consistency, and unconditional love.

Parenting is not about control, it’s about connection. Children don’t need perfect parents — they need patient ones who are willing to listen, even when the words come out wrong.

 So, PAUSE, BREATHE, LISTEN before you scold. Love before you lose that bond.
Because this phase will pass, but the wall you build today might stand for years.

And sometimes, all it takes to break that wall is a warm hug, a kind word, and the courage to say, “I understand.”

“Connection first, Correction next”